A Mexican Vacation in 20 Alliterations

Awesomely Alphabetical, Baja Blasted, Curiously Curated

Preface: In March of 2023 I did a road trip around the tip of the Baja peninsula with one of my oldest friends. What follows is a gratuitously alphabetical retelling of that trip. To the six letters not invited on the journey: you know perfectly well why I left you at home.

Dedicated to Matt

San Jose Del Cabo

Arriving at an alarmingly American airport. Affluent and arrogant aging alcoholics accost all attendants. Admirable airline agents absorb abuse. Awkward adolescents anticipate alcoholic aphrodisiacs. An absurd and amusing atmosphere all afternoon.

Brock beholds bleak birthday, bottomless blackout binge. Backdrop: beautiful blonde Becky boots bountifully beside bar, baring bronzed body, but betraying breakdown. Beware: bumbling Brad begins boasting because beverages. Beguiling babe blatantly brandishes bikini’d breasts but broods, blaming blurry broey bad behavior beginning beforehand. Belligerent Boston bros become boring, bothersome. Baja Brewing beckons. Buying beer ballenas brings bliss.

Clarification: consciously chose calmer Cabo cousin. Curious city contains coastal cerulean charms, cushy corners, charismatic cactuses, clever cuisine, craft cocktails. Colossal cetaceans comingle constantly. Chatty cougars crave Chardonnay. Clever Canadian couples choose churros.

Cabo Pulmo

Delightful detour despite delirious desert delays. Dusty dudes discovering drab dockside delivering divers directly down deep. Dwindling dolphins defiantly dance.

Evening epicurean euphoria exceeds expectations. Eager eyeballs eventually embrace excess. Endorphins expended extravagantly. Elation entails expense. Early exertion equals exhaustion.

Fabulous fish fantasies fulfilled, featuring flattering flounder flapping flamboyantly. Flying frigate flocks form food for fruitful fascination. Fond friendship forms fulfilling final form, fostering future fried fish forays.

Gigantic grouper greets group, glares glumly, glimmering gills glowing. Gleeful, giddy geeks greet guppies. Grizzled gringos grin gratefully, gulping gin. Gracious, global gem.

Huge hike hurdled, hunger halted, happy hour hang heads home. His heart hopes having hydration heals hangovers. Hip hip, hooray!

The Road

Investigating ingenious irrigation, imagination ignited. Inaccessible interior impasse is iconic incident. Imbibing interrupts inhibition; inevitably ingesting insects.

Joyous Jeep journey, jaunty, jagged jolting joyride. Jubilant juvenile joking, Jurassic jukebox, jetsetting journalism jackets. Jalapeños judged jarring.

La Paz

Lovely leisurely La Paz. Luxurious libations lubricate logistics. Loving lazy lingering like large lobsters longing leisurely latitudes.

Matt muses mescal, munches many meaty Marlin meals. Magnificent multitudes meander marvelous multi-colored Malecón.

Navigating nuanced nightlife, noting nine nationalities negotiating noisy neighborhoods. Norwegian nitwits neglect nachos, need napkins. No nonsense nomad nirvana.

Opportune occasion, opulent ocean odyssey. Obliging, offbeat outpost. Optimistic outlook on omnipresent ocotillos. Oye outlandish Ohioans, outgrow outdated opinions. Optional obligatory outings obviously oxymoronic.

Plentiful Pacificos placate plural plan panics. Perfect parrotfish plate, plentiful pesos. Pretty people partying prance past pitiful pizzerias. Pure perfection.

Reilly recharges, reading rambling rabbit-hole regarding restaurant reviews, ruminating ratings. Rugged roads remain, Rowett, right route rarely required.

Spectacular sunset sublimates sapphire seas. Such sweet seafood. Soulful serenades. Spontaneous saguaro-speckled, sandy safari. Sparse spring-breakers salvage sanity.

Thanks to two tecates these tacos taste tremendous. Tatanka trades tempting tuna tostadas through Thursday. Taxis take talkative tipsy teenagers through trivial traffic to their tour. Time to teach them to travel thoughtfully.

Viewing vivid, vast vistas, validating vivacious vacation virtues.

We witness wondrous whalesharks which wander West, wanting warm, welcoming waters. Well worth waiting.