12 Angry Cardinals (read aloud by Reilly)

Conclave turns papal politics into high-stakes drama, where backroom deals, repetitive voting, and photocopying sheets of paper feel as intense as a bank heist. The cinematography makes the Vatican feel like a prison, the performances make old men in robes compelling, and the suspense builds until you’re placing fantasy football bets on the next pope. You haven’t seen this many angry cardinals since James Harrison’s Super Bowl XLIII pick-six.